Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I love Christmas and family. I love the shopping, giving gifts, decorating, and having family stay with me. It's nice, even when it isn't. Thankfully there weren't any real dramatic episodes to report this holiday season. I enjoyed my house guests. I enjoyed visiting all types of family. I just hated having to observe some of my family. Let me explain. Christmas eve eve was nice, until I got into a heated discussion about Brittany Spears with my sister. BRITTANY SPEARS?! Who argues about Brittany Spears?! We do. I didn't realize until much later that my critic of Brittany's mothering skills was, in a way, a critic of my sister's mothering skills. So I fought with myself over my feelings of guilt over inadvertently dissing my sister, but not really feeling all that guilty about it.
Then there was Christmas. Christmas was wonderful, it really was. We finished it off by visiting my Dad and stepmom's house. It seemed like a perfect way to end the evening, and it almost was, except for the fact that my dad is an alcoholic. Some people don't think this is a problem because he is not a mean alcoholic. I, however, find his alcoholism to be a problem, because it isn't good for his body or our conversations. My dad talks forever about the same subjects over and over again when he is drunk and you can't get away. All I can think of during our conversations is how sad his state is, how much I know he doesn't want to be this way, how awkward this all is, and how can I get out of here! I know all I can do for him is pray. Nothing more. Sometimes I worry about he and my sister. My grandma tells me not to. She says I've always tried to save people and that I can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved. She's right. So when I worry about them, I get into some major prayer. It really is all I can do.
So, with this you are probably saying, 'this doesn't sound like a wonderful Christmas.' It was because I was able to spend a good amount of time with all of my family. Everyone enjoyed their gifts, I enjoyed mine. This holiday also opened my eyes even more to my sister and my dad and sisters problems and helped me to resolve to pray for them more. I also hope the conversations my sister and I had will bring about some epiphany for her. I know it did for me.

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